In Dong Xian's PDA: The winds of change

When our car was going down the driveway, I saw Jenny walking towards Sapphire.

"Stop the car, Leo" I said, as I wanted to talk to her before I go.

"Dong Xi, where are you going?" Stupid question: it is obvious that she is going. Why can't I think of something more intelligent?

"I have something for you." My sister handed me a bag of something from him. He left again, without even saying goodbye... Maybe it is better that way...

Then, Jenny thanked me: for letting her see him. Brother-and-sister, yet strangers... I do not want things this way. As her elder brother, it is my duty to take care and provide. Anything she wanted, anything that make her happy, anything she couldn't have in the past, anything she lost, I would provide and give them to her...

But she said, "I did not lose anything, I am happier than anyone". Then, she told me that she enjoys her life at the Hotel, doing the work that she likes, with a lot of friendly and honest people, except... Except what? I can grant you any wish you wanted... She pleaded, "Brother, please let go of our Hotel. I really have nothing else I would like..."

Dong Xi, this is my work, just like cooking is your work, acquiring hotel is mine... It was only a moment ago that I told her that I shall give her anything she wanted and I am already going back on my words... what kind of promise, and what kind of brother was that...

"Brother, I owe uncle Tai Jun too much: he almost lost his life because of me, and he has been the one who gave me a new lease of life. I owe him too much. Can you please help me, brother?" she pleaded again.

Is that a good enough reason? I need time to think it over... "Boss! We are late!" Leo said.

Sorry, Dong Xi, I can promise anything you except this. We will talk later, I told her. I couldn't bear to see the disappointment on her face when I gave her a pat on her back... but I have to go...

"What's up, boss?" Leo asked.

Nothing, I told him: I just need some time to think...

A promise is a promise: if I promised myself and Jenny that I would provide anything she wanted, and if she really wanted me to leave the Hotel alone, am I going back on my words if I continue my pursue?

What about Leo? As my partner, he has every right to be involved in the business decision. Even if I decided to let go, Leo might not agree with me.

What about Han Tai Jun? My bet with him: my reputation, my ego and you at stake...

What about you? You told me that I would lose you the moment I acquire the Hotel...

Too many factors I need to consider...

...

Over breakfast table, Director Jin told me that he decided to sell the Hotel to foreign hotel chains.

Leo liked the idea. I normally would, too, as it is much less hassles dealing with the Americans. But this time, I have more things to consider: you told me that it is a wrong thing to do, and this morning, my sister told me the same thing. I did not know what is the likelihood that both of you are wrong, but I needed to take these views into consideration now.

To buy myself some more time, I told him about my latest findings in order to persuade him to reconsider. However, it seemed that he has made up his mind already, "You just do your work: those are not your business."

In his support, Leo added, "Our job is the merge and acquire hotels, not running them"

Shut up Leo: are you working for me or for him?

I need some more time. So I tried to convince Director Jin to reconsider.

But he ordered: "Stop talking and just do the work. One week should be good enough!"

Director Jin: This might be the way you slave your employees but it won't work on me. Shin Dong Xian does not take orders from anyone. If I want the time, I want the time. No point for further discussion: I gave myself an excuse to leave, and made an exit.

All the way from the restaurant back to Sapphire, Leo was muttering non-stop. I did not want to talk as I need some peace and quiet for thinking. Once we stepped into Sapphire, he could not hold it any longer, and pushed me for an answer for my sudden change.

Don't push me, Leo. I don't know exactly what it is but something is not right.

What is wrong: with the beautiful money, for us? Leo asked.

That is the problem: normally, this would be fine, and this is in fact what we worked for.

But it seems to be wrong thing to do here: what about the Hotel staff? Many of them will surely be fired when the foreign hotel chain brings in their own people, I said.

What did I just say???? Is that me???

Stunned by my comment, Leo said, "I can't continue to work with you, if that is how you work."

If that is how we have to work, I don't want to continue as well, I replied.

What did I just say? Did I really say that?

What is wrong with me? Why did I keep on saying strange things this morning?

I do not want to discuss this now as I don't even know what I am saying...

Before Ithe door closed, I heard Leo shouting behind me, "You still want to go for a walk?? You don't want to make money and choose to become a philosopher now?"

Leo, I don't know, don't push me... Just leave me alone for a while, OK?

All I know is that I am sick of everything: reputation, money, ego, pride, pressure, promises, kinship, friendship, love, commitments... one way or the other, something has to go... Just leave me alone and don't bother me anymore!

With the door closed behind me, suddenly, I realized I did not know where I am going and in fact has nowhere to go.

I think someone muttered hello to me... I think... Who are those two? Two cleaning ladies... Have I seen them before? Can't remember... Why are they greeting me with such enthusiasm? Don't know... I turned around. "He is 300 roses!" one of them said to the other one. Found that I am looking at them, they nodded at me, walking away, giggling, kept looking back...

"300 roses": what a strange name for Shin Dong Xian. No one has ever called the hunter with that name.

I do not know what has gotten into me but I decided to follow them. They lead me to a whole bunch of cleaning ladies, in grey uniform, white gloves ... Where did all these people come from? What are they doing here? Your colleague greeted me with a smile, "How are you, Mister?" Then, the whole team, perhaps 20 of them, greeted me in unison.

Am I at the wrong place, disturbing your work? I asked. Again, in unison, the whole team answered no, and waved at me with their gloved hands. It is a strange sight, something I have not seen before... Where did all these people come from? How come they do things in such unison?

I walked through the Hotel, greeted by someone I did not know. On my way to the kitchen, more greetings from people that I did not know. Where did all these people come from?

Then, I saw Jenny, walking amongst her colleagues, chatting about something happily. I followed her to the storage. She was busy moving things and did not notice me. A tall guy alerts her that I am around, and greeted me, "How are you, Mr Shin?"

Mr. Shin is feeling strange at the moment... don't ask me anymore.

I told Jenny I was just walking around, which was true. As to why I am walking around, what I am looking for, I don't know. Maybe I came looking for a familiar face...

When I turned around to leave, she said, "Wait!"

I turned back, and she said, "Brother, do you have time tonight? If you can, please come to our place for dinner: I will cook for you."

How can I refuse? For the first time in my life, my sister invited me for dinner. I shall be there, no matter what.

She nodded at me and went back to work. I continued my journey: bellboy pulling luggages... Hotel staff chatting to each other... Where did all these people come from?

My feet took me to the front desk.

From afar, I saw you on the phone, with a smile. You know your smile is infectious, and it is first thing I see from miles away? I walked a long way already this morning, and maybe this is the place for me to stop...

Could you help me with something, I asked you.

"What kind of service would you like, Mister?" you replied.

Manager Xu: I am looking for the spot in the Hotel, with the best view.

"Then, you have talked to the right person. Please follow me, Mister." You turned around and told your colleague that you will leave the front desk for a little while.

Then, Manager Xu took Mr. Shin Dong Xian into the lift, went straight to the top floor, walked up one flight of stairs, and pushed the fire door open.

So, this is the rooftop...

The rooftop of the hotel is another world: I know the city is below, but it felt closer to the sky than to the rest of the world. And with the sky, there is really no limit... Been to hundreds and thousands of hotels, never been to any roof-top. Now, when I come to think of it, I have never been to the rooftop of any high-rise building...

I told you that I have been invited to dinner at your house tonight and Jenny would be cooking. You got more excited than me, "Thanks to you, I will have good food tonight." I am speechless by your genuine excitement: you really don't ask for much in life, do you?...

I walked along the rail, trying to catch everything in front of me... you followed.

I breathe out deeply, in order to release all the dead air that has been clogging my lungs...you followed.

Hey, Manager Xu: why are you following me? Are you sharing the strange feeling that I am experiencing too? But, let me give you an easier question first: why are Hotel guests not allowed to come up here?

I expected you to say: this is Hotel rule, but you did not.

Instead you tell me your grand plan of putting a few tables here for selling drinks. Yes, I forgot: I have to stay in the Hotel till next year's Valentine's day if I wanted your chocolate...

Then, you revealed that the rooftop is your secret place of hiding: when you are tired, when you are sleepy, and when you wanted to stay away from work...

The third one: I am looking for a place to hide from work, I told you.

You are surprised to hear that. I am in fact more shocked than you: a self-confessed workaholic hiding from work...

Most of the time, hunting is fun, with all its excitements and thrills. But today, I am really sick of being the hunter. I just wanted something different, forget about everything and start again. Cats love to play with balls of wool, but getting itself entangled inside would not be fun...

Amidst the confusion, I suddenly feel a strange wind blowing, a wind of change... this morning, I saw Hotel staff greeting me. This is something I did not notice before.

You lectured me, with a smile, "It is because you ignored your feelings, trying to avoid trouble!"

Yes, my dear, there is some degree of truth in it. But more importantly, I understand what you, Jenny, and maybe even Han Tai Jun has been trying to tell me now. For the three of you, Hotel staff are your colleagues, your friends, people you see everyday, and people you talked to everyday. No matter what role they are in, cleaners, cooks, bellboys, managers, GM... they all have vital roles to play. Even if one of them has gone missing, your Hotel will not be the same anymore.

For a Hotel guest like me, they are just part of the fixture, not much different from the furniture in the room. They are always there, but away from the limelight. Unless you need their service, you don't need to see them. Often, you take them for granted as the room will be cleaned automatically when you are not in the room, dinner will be served as long as you order, and you don't get to see these people doing their work. But when you see them, they are real people, just like you and me. That is what you've been telling me, and this muddle-headed hunter just did not understand until today... How can I be so stupid?

"Then, you tell me to cover my ears, closed my eyes, and only look at you, my dear?"

My dear? Are you testing my memory? I am sure that I did not say that.

Noticing your slip of tongue, my Zhen Yin blushed, and went quiet... Zhen Yin, thanks to you, I now see these people, and what they meant to you and Jenny. With this, I found my reason...

I look at you. You are smiling at me. I pull you towards me so you could lean on my shoulder, to admire this great view in front of us, together ... Thank you, Zhen Yin...

Didn't know how long we stood. But something seemed to be missing as it has been too quiet ... hey, where is your walkie-talkie?

"Oops! I left it downstairs. Dong Xian, I have to go now." You said.

Yes, it is time for me to go back to work, too. Now, I have a reason to change my plan, and I have a lot of work to do...

You walked me up here, and now it is my turn to take you back downstairs... Thank you, Zhen Yin, for keeping me company...

Zhen Yin's thoughts: Dear Dong Xian...

Dong Xian, you are brilliant. You excel in almost all you do. You faced the past. Hunting is your job and there has been only 'win' or 'lose'. Hotel floor manager is my occupation. Hotel is where I work. The colleagues are part of Hotel Seoul and important connections in the system. The rapport and support has been established over the years. It is hard for me to express clearly in words …

Like any other day, I am on duty at the front desk, giving instructions, answering calls, meeting demands …

"Hello, this is Hotel Seoul. This is Manager Xu speaking. As requested, we have sent a bouquet of roses to the guest … you are welcomed … have a wonderful day", I smiled. A satisfied guest. A task accomplished.

"Xuan Zhe, please attend to the guest at Room 1302 …" I saw you walking towards me. You are right in front of me now, waiting … "What kind of service would you like, Mister?" I asked happily, using the standard Hotelier opening line.

You replied, "May I know where is the most scenic place in Hotel Seoul?" Scenic? Ermm … I smiled. I do know of such a place. Dong Xian, you have found and asked the correct person … "Xian Zheng, please stay at the front desk. I need to go off a while."

I smiled at you. Let's go, Dong Xian!

I led you across the main hall, into the lift, pressed the highest button, went straight to the top floor, walked up one long flight of stairs … This is a most familiar route as I have been there numerous times, when stressed, tired, overwhelmed, annoyed … this is where I feel closer to the sky, feel closer to de-stress, this is somewhere I like to be … I pushed the fire door open, introducing you into part of my world, leading you into my secret hiding place — the roof top … Here you are, Dong Xian. Sharing with you, my secret hiding place, that also fits your criteria — impressive view of Seoul City, all under your eyes soon …

What? Jenny has invited you to my apartment for dinner tonight, and Jenny is cooking? GREAT! I see the relationship between you and Jenny is going on fine. I feel more relief. Taking dinner at home is comfortable, Jenny cooking skills are superb and what's more, you'll be there. I'll be home straight after work tonight! I said happily. Well, I also admitted that I can't cook. Would boiling water for the instant noodles and switching on the rice-cooker counted?

This is a sunny day, with light breeze. The Han River and almost the entire Seoul City will be visible from here. Happily, I followed your steps. You seem to have anticipated the breath-taking scenery. You took a few big steps towards the railing. You walked a few steps to the right, and back to the left again. What are you looking for? After you, I took a few steps towards the right, briskly turned and walked back to the left. While you are looking at the scenery, I am looking at you. There is something different about you, maybe … the look of relief written on your face.

You took big breaths. Again, I followed. This is something I use to do too. I sighed after you. Sighing … somehow the bad air inside is released …

The view from here is simply magnificent, isn't it? "Why do you restrict the guests from such a scenic place?", you asked, smiling. Well, maybe we should set up a café here. It could be profitable from a business point of view. I played along. Seeing your smile, I feel better than before and joked.

You look at me, "There you go again!" Ok! I smiled. No official matters, I know.

Dong Xian, "Actually … this is my secret hiding place. I'll come here for a rest whenever I feel tired, sleepy or lazy", I confessed. Many times, when I received unreasonable complains, fatigue … I'll be here. The top-down view comforts me, the closer sky calms my nerves, the air refreshes my mind, …

"Then I have come to the correct place. That is exactly how I feel now", you answered. I looked at you closely, "Do you feel sleepy now?" But you don't look sleepy. You look more relaxed. You shouldn't be feeling lazy, at times, like me, isn't it?

"No, it's the third reason", you said. What? I am surprised. "You are feeling lazy?" I exclaimed. Dong Xian is sharing my "lazy" feel now. You are no longer afraid to expose your inner thoughts to me. This is a good start. "Goodness! Will you feel tired with your job?"

"Never", you admitted, "However … A strange wind seems to be blowing today." Strange wind?

"I could see all the Hotel employees' polite greetings today … this is something I have never took note before", you said. What is so strange about this? The Hotel staff has always been polite. Or, you have been too busy to notice other people. Maybe you chose to ignore them in the past, "It is because you ignored your feelings, trying to avoid trouble!" I lectured you, jokingly.

You smiled, "I see these people now" I said straight away "Then, you tell me to cover my ears, closed my eyes, and only look at you, my dear"

"Dear?", you asked. Ooopps! … my face still warmed, "I am getting a little out of line …" I must be blushing … I have slipped again. But, this is true. Dear Dong Xian, my Dong Xian …

You smiled, "Zhen Yin, thank you" Thanking me for? You continued, "You let me discover the other me … the different me that has been in my heart" I look at you. So real, so close, so near … So you see, finally … I smiled in agreement. Your aloof shield has disintegrated. Your warm side surfaced … this is you, the real you …

You held my shoulder and I instinctively followed your pull and leaned on your shoulder. At my secret hiding place, in the arms of the man I love, under the clear sky, feeling the same beat … could be one of the most simple things in life. Although we each have our vulnerabilities and all ... now, we feel happiness. Thank you, Heaven, for the chance; … Thank you, Dong Xian; for being here, now … Together, we stood for a while, sharing the magnificent view from the top floor ...

I have been immersed in the bless moments. After a while, I realized my empty left hand … oh dear, I forgot my walkie-talkie. At the same moment, you suddenly asked, "hey, where is your walkie-talkie?" I laughed, chuckled at our exact timing! So, you have been thinking what I am thinking or you are reading my mind, Dong Xian?

Knowing I am "un-contactable" now, I have to go back to the front desk soon. "Dong Xian, I have to go now", I said apologetically. You understand my position.

Just now, I led you here. Now, you held my hand and led me to the fire-door... I am still absorbed in the happiness, something that can't be bought, something only you can provide ... Thank you, Dong Xian …